Learning to Love Myself: The Universe Sends me Help



Every morning, I’ve been looking at my reflection in a mirror, saying to myself, “I love you, Christine. I really, really, really, really, REALLY love you.”  

This is my morning mantra. I say this 10 times, every morning. I’ve only missed one day since I’ve started this blog.

I do this just as Louise Hays instructs in her book, “You can Heal your Life.”

But I’m still not comfortable with it.

The Universe Helps Out
As you might expect, my morning mantra has kept me focused on loving myself (even if I still don’t feel that emotion for myself).
As I should have expected, the Universe decided to help me out. (This is classic Law of Attraction at work.).

I’m a freelance writer for a company that sends me a wide variety of assignments (articles) to write for their clients. I have been writing for them for about 1 ½ months, and they keep me very busy.

Well, a few days ago, they sent an assignment for me to write 5 articles for a client for which I have never before written.

But get this…these articles were for a self help program, most of which is concerned with techniques in loving yourself.  Not only that, but the Senior Editor of the company for which I work included 26 attachments to my assignment email These attachments were articles written by the head of this self help program. (The editor attached these articles so that I would have a better understanding of the focus of this company). Now, it’s a little unusual for this editor to attach supplemental materials to my assignment emails, but it’s very unusual for her to attach 26 articles!

So, in essence, I got a course in how to love myself absolutely free!

And I feel so loved even though I cannot, as yet, feel that for myself.

I Love You, Christine. Yeah, Right!

It was really difficult for me to look into my own eyes in the mirror this morning and say this affirmation: “I love you Christine. I really, really, really, REALLY love you.

Why?

Well, besides the fact that I do not REALLY love myself—yet, but I’m working on it—I looked awful. There was no life in my eyes. The crusties from sleep were still in my eyelashes. I seemed to have developed more wrinkles during the night. I desperately need a haircut, as my bangs are so long I have to part my hair in the middle. I hate parting my hair in the middle. I much prefer having bangs. My face is also fat, as is the rest of my body. Thank GOD I'm not looking at my reflection in a full length mirror!

For each “I love you” affirmation, my old, haggard face kept saying back to me, “you don’t REALLY believe what you’re saying.”

Damn Louise Hay!

So I press on.

“I love you, Christine. I really, really, really, REALLY love you.

Beginning the Process

I began the affirmation process the Louise Hay way: I looked at myself in the mirror. Then, looking into my own eyes, I told myself, “I love you. I really, really, really, really love you.” I repeated this affirmation 10 times.

It felt strange to be affirming my love for myself. I had been raised to believe that self love was egotism. Besides, I was lying to my reflection. I did not love myself, had never loved myself. I really had no respect for the Christine de LaGrange of my childhood and early adulthood. Nor did I have any respect for the Christine Mattice of my married years. This lack of respect for myself was really an understatement. The feelings I had for myself actually bordered on hatred.

During the early years of my marriage, this lack of love for myself caused hell. I did everything I could do to push him away. In retrospect, I realize that I couldn’t respect him because he loved me! Since I was so unlovable (in my own eyes), I figured that there must be something wrong with him!

But now Louise Hay is challenging me to let go of my former concept of a loveless person. So despite my discomfort at expressing love for myself, I will use this affirmation every morning:

“Christine, I love you. I really, really, really, really love you.”

Do you have any experiences with affirmations you’d like to share? Have you ever tried the Louise Hay method of affirmations? What did you think?