I Love You, Christine. Yeah, Right!

It was really difficult for me to look into my own eyes in the mirror this morning and say this affirmation: “I love you Christine. I really, really, really, REALLY love you.

Why?

Well, besides the fact that I do not REALLY love myself—yet, but I’m working on it—I looked awful. There was no life in my eyes. The crusties from sleep were still in my eyelashes. I seemed to have developed more wrinkles during the night. I desperately need a haircut, as my bangs are so long I have to part my hair in the middle. I hate parting my hair in the middle. I much prefer having bangs. My face is also fat, as is the rest of my body. Thank GOD I'm not looking at my reflection in a full length mirror!

For each “I love you” affirmation, my old, haggard face kept saying back to me, “you don’t REALLY believe what you’re saying.”

Damn Louise Hay!

So I press on.

“I love you, Christine. I really, really, really, REALLY love you.

Beginning the Process

I began the affirmation process the Louise Hay way: I looked at myself in the mirror. Then, looking into my own eyes, I told myself, “I love you. I really, really, really, really love you.” I repeated this affirmation 10 times.

It felt strange to be affirming my love for myself. I had been raised to believe that self love was egotism. Besides, I was lying to my reflection. I did not love myself, had never loved myself. I really had no respect for the Christine de LaGrange of my childhood and early adulthood. Nor did I have any respect for the Christine Mattice of my married years. This lack of respect for myself was really an understatement. The feelings I had for myself actually bordered on hatred.

During the early years of my marriage, this lack of love for myself caused hell. I did everything I could do to push him away. In retrospect, I realize that I couldn’t respect him because he loved me! Since I was so unlovable (in my own eyes), I figured that there must be something wrong with him!

But now Louise Hay is challenging me to let go of my former concept of a loveless person. So despite my discomfort at expressing love for myself, I will use this affirmation every morning:

“Christine, I love you. I really, really, really, really love you.”

Do you have any experiences with affirmations you’d like to share? Have you ever tried the Louise Hay method of affirmations? What did you think?