Negative Beliefs from Childhood



This isn't my entrie family, but most of us are there.  My dad is the one with the camera. My Aunt and Uncle are standing in back. My Aunt is the one with the baby in her arms. I am in the far left with a big round black bag over my arm

In the first chapter of her book, You Can Heal Your Life, Louise Hay says that our childhoods shape most of our negative beliefs about ourselves and the world around us.

When I think about this, I know she’s right. In our childhoods, we are told “no” a lot. We are criticized a lot. We are indoctrinated with our parents’ views of the world.

And what were my parents’ viewpoints? How did they react to the world and to us, their children? How did I experience their behavior to me and to my siblings? How did my parents affect my views of the world and, more importantly, my view of myself?

Being Afraid

My dad was passive and my mom was aggressive. When things got too tranquil around the house, mom apparently felt the need to stir things up. She would wage great, loud, dramatic fights with my dad. My brothers and sisters and I would go to other rooms, trembling and hoping the fight would end soon.

The family was constantly under pressure and today I understand why. My parents had 7 children to feed and clothe on my dad’s meager wages. Although we never went hungry (mom was a great cook and could make a meal out of a combination of almost any ingredients) we were always aware of how precipitous life was.

My parents let us know each time that we were nearly broke (which was almost always). They told us that resources such as school supplies and clothing and food were limited. My grandmother bought our school supplies each year and my mother screamed at us whenever we needed anything extra. My brothers and sisters kept asking for what they wanted until they got it. I withdrew from my mother’s rage.

And I grew up with a deep poverty consciousness and a fear of asking for what I truly wanted. Worse, I came to believe that I did not deserve to go very far in life.